Two then Three

This blog was written for me to read. I have recently discovered that I probably will ‘need’ one more baby. Just one more. The logistics of it don’t seem to matter so much, but making one more baby definitely does.

My husband thinks if we have one more, might as well have two. Four seems like a lot. But, hey, after making baby #3, maybe four won’t seem like too much.

I can point a finger directly at the show ‘Parenthood’ for this need. It made me realize when I’m the parent or grandparent I want to be surrounded by years of memories, and people that have resulted from my husband and I’s love. Pretty awesome.

http://parenting.blogs.nytimes.com/2012/03/14/zone-defense-from-two-children-to-three/?_r=0

Coming Up For Air

Dude. Things get SO busy.

Day to day life sometimes just slips away. There’s so much to do and so little time. If only there was another hour in the day… well… I’d probably just fill that right up too!

This morning we were driving out to pick up our kids after their much anticipated sleepover at Grandma’s. The sun was coming up over the mountains,which are all around us where we live. I  was listening to the radio and thought… man… we have  a good life.

Two hilarious kiddos. A husband who quit his job so I could continue doing mine when we couldn’t find a nanny. A ridiculous house. My own  business on our property. Cabin in the woods. Toys. Food. Amazing family. Laughter. Love. Adventure. Health. Two wild doggies.

All of it but time. It was a healthy moment of self-assurance. You’re blessed lady! Take a minute to pause and enjoy it. So….. there! Back to laundry, dishes, snuggles,  planning and moving it!

My New Nanny

We found a new nanny! It was a tough, mostly fruitless search for a new nanny. It is SO hard for me to trust people with my babies and takes a huge leap of faith to let go. We only had one candidate for our nanny position. It’s a man- which throws up a red flag right away- right? Not to be sexist, but women just have that cuddly mom quality that not all men have.

He’s always been in the workforce and is really focused at whatever he is doing. He is super goal oriented- which might play out well for the potty training adventure that’s taking place with my beautiful G-Mae. And things like laundry, dishes, etc… checking items off a list work well for him. The new nanny is super good at building forts and fake hunting…so obviously my son thinks he is awesome.

This is his first big delve into childcare. He’s had his share of time in short stints with his two kids… but not for an extended period of time. Poop on the floor isn’t really his thing, so we will see how that works out.The great thing is he isn’t charging much and is easily paid in beer. Again… red flag?

Around here we call him Daddy…  and now Mr. Daddy! I am so excited, nervous and blessed to have my husband taking a couple of months off work to hang with us at home. He’s going to watch the team while I’m at work and head back to his own work in the Spring.

First day of the job I got this text:

“If you look out the window and see two small children running down the driveway with dog bones tied to them, don’t be alarmed. It’s what I like to call abstract parenting.”

It’s going to be great, right?!

Bye Byes are Tough

Nobody warns you how quickly the person watching your kiddos become family. And how much it hurts when they have to say good bye.

Our nanny has been here since my daughter was 6 months old. She has been at our home every day I’ve been working while my husband has been gone (for pretty much the entire last year). She has been with my kids so I could run to the gym or the post office or have dinner with grown ups.

Trusting people is hard for me. I’m pretty sure it stems from my parent’s divorce when I was a teenager (that’s just what my ECD degree education led me to believe. I could be wrong). I was dating my husband at the time and he’s been one of the only people I’ve trusted since then. That’s not 100% accurate… the others I’ve trusted have always left me hanging and broken small pieces of my heart… such is life, right?

When we realized we needed to find a nanny it was tough for me. I ended up subscribing to care.com strictly after seeing Ms. Jessica’s profile. After meeting her I knew she would be  a perfect fit. There’s a lot of mommy guilt with leaving your child with another person. Even more so when trust is tough for me. But she was amazing. And understand how tough it was (or at least sympathized with my kind of crazy).

Now she’s been my constant and someone to depend on… and I found myself crying with the thought of her last day. And doubting my ability to open up to someone again.

Man… people who love your kids just sneak right into the heart! We love Ms. J and will miss you SO BIG!

Toddlers in Aloha Land

My kids are awesome babies. Awesome. Hilarious… entertaining… go with the flow. They are excited about life and that enthusiasm is contagious. Then something happens to them around 18 months. They are still all the above listed things, but they become… independent. Adventurous. And determined.

My son hit that change around 21 months old. We were on vacation for Thanksgiving visiting my grandparents. It was a great trip, but it was crazy to see how he set his little mind to something and off he went.

Apparently my daughter’s genetic need to be assertive and discover new worlds has kicked in. We are in Hawaii for our Thanksgiving vacation and she has decided to make up her mind about everything. She is now 21 months and is WILD! She wakes up with a smile on her face and a ‘hi Mama’ or ‘hi Dada’ and then is off. Running around, chasing birds, lizards, frogs and kitties all over the beach, demanding ‘gackars’ (crackers) when the need arises, throwing her body all over the place in those famous toddler tantrums (most recently because I wouldn’t let her jump into Waimea Falls with her clothes on and she refused to wear the required life jacket).

It’s hilarious, awe inspiring and satisfying to know my kids are independent and feisty. As if by fate, a shirt popped up on my Zulily with one of my favorite quotes… and one that aptly describes my sweet little G:

‘Though she be but little, she is fierce’. And mahalo for that, because we wouldn’t want it any other way.

Nap Times

It’s nap time now.

I find myself, at these rare quiet moments, pondering how long nap time will go on for. Not how many minutes or hours, but how many more days of nap times will I get? Or snuggles? Or I love you’s and my mommy makes everything better moments? How much longer will my son beg to wear his Batman jammies at every moment? And my daughter be obsessed with trying on shoes (well… that probably won’t stop!)?

My tiny little baby girl went potty in the potty today after not going all morning in her diaper. We went to the gym (where she cut my workout short by crying the whole time in childcare), got coffee and came home. How much longer until potty in the potty is routine and we forget the excitement of the first times?

Sometimes I’m consumed with the amount of love I have for my life right now. Of course, an hour from now I might be singing a different tune- but I really hope these moments of pride, love and laughter are what stick with me. My babies have changed who I am and what my days consist of… I love it so much and am definitely not ready to see these days go. I feel like I’m going to blink and my babies will be having babies.

How do you slow down the clock? Absorb it all in so you can replay it forever. I read an article once by a woman who referred to all her memories as a bank.  She deposited as many great experiences, faces, smiles, conversations as she could, so when she was old and reflecting on her life, she could pull them out and remember how full her life is. How many people she has touched. How many laughs, tears and hugs she has shared.

I guess it doesn’t matter how much longer this all goes on for. What matters is it’s here now… and I better soak it up while I can. 🙂 20140930_161156

Ebola, A Nurse’s Perspective

This is a great article. I’ve heard so many people who shrug off what is happening with this virus. It’s big. It’s scary.

I almost didn’t attend a conference in Dallas in August because of this outbreak, and was shocked to see that Dallas was where the first patient in the US is. Gave me a little bit of shivers. Hoping my gut feeling is wrong on this… Read the blog attached. It’s worth it.

dtolar

So a few months ago the country was enthralled with the idea of a few patients, infected with the Ebola virus, coming to the United States. Up until this point, we had been safe from Ebola due to the fact that bats can’t fly over the Atlantic. Some people were completely indifferent, while others had seen Outbreak one too many times. Most were a healthy mix, somewhere in between, but what bothered me the most was both the lack of education and the poor information that was spreading more virulently than the virus could ever hope to.

First, I want to stress that I am a nurse, not a virologist, and hopefully throughout my post you will see that I am not pretending to be one. I have a Bachelor’s in Nursing and am currently a graduate student. I have worked extensively with Infectious Disease Specialists. I have been exposed…

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Defining Moments

There are defining moments in life… right? Like you can look back and think, ‘Man… that really changed where I was going.” I’ve had a lot of those during the course of my life so far… and expect to experience many more.

One of the recent moments happened last May. We were up visiting my sister in law. It was unseasonably warm and the kids were running through the sprinkler in their undies with piles of snow still on the grass. It was amazing. I literally put down my phone and soaked up every moment of that day.

That evening the phone rang right after the kids were all in bed and we sat down to chat. It was my father in law. He told us that his sister had been killed in a motorcycle accident. I vividly remember every moment of that entire day; how it felt to be so in the moment and loved, and also how it felt to hear those words and feel like my heart was removed from my body. I remember how my sister in laws face looked as my husband spoke the words. I remember his strength that enabled him to convey that message clearly. When someone who is an integral part of your life is ripped away from you, the details are solidified in your memory bank eternally.

I could write forever about my Aunt and how amazing she was. That will come later. I’m not quite there yet… so this is about what happened to me afterwards.

I decided shortly after that my life needed to change. I needed more days like that day. Days away from the phone, computer, tv… days living in the present. Sometimes we make these resolutions and carry them out for a day or a week. But my perspective on life was changed by this event.

Reflecting on the last few months I’ve realized how incredibly happy I have been. How my happiness has translated to happy kids who are confident and able. My relationship with my husband is amazing. My businesses are both thriving, which leads to less stress in our household. Being happy creates a desire for others to be happy around  you. You have to be determined to remain sad around me… most of the time.

We all have bad days… myself included. But now instead of being stuck in a rut, I hop right out of it and move on. You only get so many minutes, hours and days together. Soak it up! Laugh at the silly things- laugh at the serious things! Live your life like this is it. Because today, right now, in this moment, is it. This is your life.

So all I can say is thank you Aunt Elaine. Your absence leaves a void that can’t be filled, but we will continue to throw love, laughter and smiles at it in your name. We feel you around us everyday. I miss your laugh and ‘oh well’s and am always waiting for you to wander over when we’re the cabin. Thank you for changing my today, every day. Thank you for improving my children’s lives today and tomorrow, my relationships and hopefully my reach to those around me. I love you!Upper Gen

An Awesome Book

One of my preschoolers brought in this book today for show and tell. I was excited to read it purely based on the title, “An Awesome Book”. How could we go wrong?

Picture this: 11 kiddos wiggling on their pillows at the end of our school day, me sitting in the front with the book held up, unaware of the greatness in my hands. I start to read,quickly beginning to think how inspirational this book is (seriously right up there with ‘Oh the Places You’ll Go”)… next thing I know I’m choking back tears. Real tears. Like the ridiculous Pampers baby  commercials when you’re pregnant tears (if your a man, you might equate this to, say, football season preview commercials?).

It’s amazing. I’m going to be ordering it for some of my business partners in my energy business. We,as adults, push aside dreaming, often to fit into the mold of the ‘American Dream’. A year and two months ago, I changed that mindset with the gift of Ambit Energy and have saved my dreams! More than that, I’ve created new ones and made some come true!

I have two gifts for you today:

http://lifelongenergy.myambit.com/start-a-business/energy-526   – the gift that changed my life.

http://www.veryawesomeworld.com/awesomebook/           -the gift I will be giving those who join me with the first one. 🙂

 

Enjoy and you are welcome!

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Not Sleeping! NEVER!

Bed time battles? What’s up with that? I would gladly lay down and pass out for an entire 8-10 hours if possible. No need for prompting, bedtime stories, snacks, drinks, cuddles… just quiet, a blanket and a pillow. I’m good to go. Pillow and blanket optional if it’s quiet without kids to worry about.

Here’s bedtime at my house:

G: cuddle, pop in bed = asleep five minutes later.

S: Pick up toys, brush teeth, tuck into bed. Has to go potty. Brush teeth again. Tuck. Needs a snack (he is ‘starvin’ ). Brush teeth again. His water is old (it’s from ‘laaaaast night). Needs new water. Tuck. Bed time story with his big ‘ol flashlight (those super awesome ’80’s Playschool ones that turn color. Yah, it was mine as a child). Water. One more snack please? Uh-oh, potty emergency! Teeth again. Tuck. Lights off. Mom leaves.

You would think that the hour of activity listed above would result in an hour or quiet for Mom right? Oh no, it continues…

S: ‘Mama, mama, mama! One more thing! One more thing! I LOVE YOU!’. Tuck. Cuddle. Drink. Mom leaves again. Camps out right in the hallway with my tablet as he peeks out at least twice and mumbles something like ‘mama needs to go downstairs’. She doesn’t. Read for another 15 minutes. Tiptoe in to see if he is asleep.

Most nights he is. Some night, like last night, I go downstairs and sit to talk to my husband (who is out of town working). I hear a big crash from above the living room (in my room), then quiet. I go up to check and he is not in sight. Guess where? Yep- under the bed with his sleeping bag and some treasured items. He is safe. He is asleep. Mission accomplished. Off to enjoy a celebration beer… very quietly… don’t want to wake them up and start again!