Nobody warns you how quickly the person watching your kiddos become family. And how much it hurts when they have to say good bye.

Our nanny has been here since my daughter was 6 months old. She has been at our home every day I’ve been working while my husband has been gone (for pretty much the entire last year). She has been with my kids so I could run to the gym or the post office or have dinner with grown ups.

Trusting people is hard for me. I’m pretty sure it stems from my parent’s divorce when I was a teenager (that’s just what my ECD degree education led me to believe. I could be wrong). I was dating my husband at the time and he’s been one of the only people I’ve trusted since then. That’s not 100% accurate… the others I’ve trusted have always left me hanging and broken small pieces of my heart… such is life, right?

When we realized we needed to find a nanny it was tough for me. I ended up subscribing to care.com strictly after seeing Ms. Jessica’s profile. After meeting her I knew she would be  a perfect fit. There’s a lot of mommy guilt with leaving your child with another person. Even more so when trust is tough for me. But she was amazing. And understand how tough it was (or at least sympathized with my kind of crazy).

Now she’s been my constant and someone to depend on… and I found myself crying with the thought of her last day. And doubting my ability to open up to someone again.

Man… people who love your kids just sneak right into the heart! We love Ms. J and will miss you SO BIG!

My kids are awesome babies. Awesome. Hilarious… entertaining… go with the flow. They are excited about life and that enthusiasm is contagious. Then something happens to them around 18 months. They are still all the above listed things, but they become… independent. Adventurous. And determined.

My son hit that change around 21 months old. We were on vacation for Thanksgiving visiting my grandparents. It was a great trip, but it was crazy to see how he set his little mind to something and off he went.

Apparently my daughter’s genetic need to be assertive and discover new worlds has kicked in. We are in Hawaii for our Thanksgiving vacation and she has decided to make up her mind about everything. She is now 21 months and is WILD! She wakes up with a smile on her face and a ‘hi Mama’ or ‘hi Dada’ and then is off. Running around, chasing birds, lizards, frogs and kitties all over the beach, demanding ‘gackars’ (crackers) when the need arises, throwing her body all over the place in those famous toddler tantrums (most recently because I wouldn’t let her jump into Waimea Falls with her clothes on and she refused to wear the required life jacket).

It’s hilarious, awe inspiring and satisfying to know my kids are independent and feisty. As if by fate, a shirt popped up on my Zulily with one of my favorite quotes… and one that aptly describes my sweet little G:

‘Though she be but little, she is fierce’. And mahalo for that, because we wouldn’t want it any other way.

It’s nap time now.

I find myself, at these rare quiet moments, pondering how long nap time will go on for. Not how many minutes or hours, but how many more days of nap times will I get? Or snuggles? Or I love you’s and my mommy makes everything better moments? How much longer will my son beg to wear his Batman jammies at every moment? And my daughter be obsessed with trying on shoes (well… that probably won’t stop!)?

My tiny little baby girl went potty in the potty today after not going all morning in her diaper. We went to the gym (where she cut my workout short by crying the whole time in childcare), got coffee and came home. How much longer until potty in the potty is routine and we forget the excitement of the first times?

Sometimes I’m consumed with the amount of love I have for my life right now. Of course, an hour from now I might be singing a different tune- but I really hope these moments of pride, love and laughter are what stick with me. My babies have changed who I am and what my days consist of… I love it so much and am definitely not ready to see these days go. I feel like I’m going to blink and my babies will be having babies.

How do you slow down the clock? Absorb it all in so you can replay it forever. I read an article once by a woman who referred to all her memories as a bank.  She deposited as many great experiences, faces, smiles, conversations as she could, so when she was old and reflecting on her life, she could pull them out and remember how full her life is. How many people she has touched. How many laughs, tears and hugs she has shared.

I guess it doesn’t matter how much longer this all goes on for. What matters is it’s here now… and I better soak it up while I can. 🙂

One of my preschoolers brought in this book today for show and tell. I was excited to read it purely based on the title, “An Awesome Book”. How could we go wrong?

Picture this: 11 kiddos wiggling on their pillows at the end of our school day, me sitting in the front with the book held up, unaware of the greatness in my hands. I start to read,quickly beginning to think how inspirational this book is (seriously right up there with ‘Oh the Places You’ll Go”)… next thing I know I’m choking back tears. Real tears. Like the ridiculous Pampers baby  commercials when you’re pregnant tears (if your a man, you might equate this to, say, football season preview commercials?).

It’s amazing. I’m going to be ordering it for some of my business partners in my energy business. We,as adults, push aside dreaming, often to fit into the mold of the ‘American Dream’. A year and two months ago, I changed that mindset with the gift of Ambit Energy and have saved my dreams! More than that, I’ve created new ones and made some come true!

I have two gifts for you today:

http://lifelongenergy.myambit.com/start-a-business/energy-526   – the gift that changed my life.

http://www.veryawesomeworld.com/awesomebook/           -the gift I will be giving those who join me with the first one. 🙂

Enjoy and you are welcome!

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My mom and I went hiking with my two kiddos. My mom (we now call her Grandma, or Gammy to tease her) is amazing. Those of us lucky enough to have incredible moms all come to appreciate it more the older we get. She has always made it a point to make memories with us and create traditions (post to come: Xmas in July). The one thing I never saw my mom doing was hiking.

She has overcome huge obstacles and worked really hard to get in shape and become healthy. It’s been a transformation. Her secret is simple: counting calories and adding more exercise into her routine. Over the past three years she’s steadily lost 80 pounds or so. I will say we still enjoy our special treats! When she told me she joined the gym recently, I told my hubs we’re going to have to start going just to keep up with her!

Yesterday she invited my kids and I to go hiking with her. It was an incredible  blessing and another memory to add to the bank. Watching her and my son stroll up ‘the hugest hill he never even heard of’ brought tears to my eyes. I’m so proud of her and beyond excited to get to go again.

Here’s to Gammy!! YAY!! Hike #1 together is in the books!

Sounds like a fun adventure right?

Yes! On the way to your destination, traveling alone is fine… sometimes ever ‘fun’. In my most recent adventure it was awesome as I had my sister in law and her ‘big kids’ along for  entertainment, assistance and back up. The flight home… not so much.

It’s me, my double Bob and S and G. (My aunt generously helped us with checking in our luggage- enough for a small country- which we wouldn’t have been able to do otherwise.) We go to ‘have a snack’ in the SeaTac airport (my snack consisted of chips and salsa and very large Bud Light). The whole time my son is glued to the window (literally drool running down it) watching the airplanes except when he’s yelling he has to poop (he doesn’t, he is obsessed with public bathrooms). My daughter is tasting every food item given to her and then throwing it out on the floor behind her. At this point, all you can do is sit back and enjoy your beer. Right?

This is followed by the nightmare of the train at the Seattle Airport. People wheeling in their suitcases and parking themselves right in front of the door. Well… that means double BOB is not getting on. This requires my loud, assertive teacher voice- which clears a path without a problem- but is slightly embarrassing. Don’t worry- we made it.

Up next… the plane.